Ways To Stay Happy in a Complicated World

Reader, you are a hearty specimen. We often aren’t pitching sunshine here —  we tell the stories of what is wrong in the world, stories of pain and tragedy  and injustice. But it’s not just us — life away from the computer screen can  also be a depressing thing.

How do you keep it from getting to you? What can you do to avoid becoming depressed yourself, or better yet, to keep yourself happy?

Ignorance of evil and misfortune isn’t the answer. By visiting Care2 Causes  you educate yourself, which leads you to take action to make things better — by  signing petitions, sending letters and spreading the word to your friends and  connections to do the same. You are a part of the solution. Losing you to  depression or evasion of reality just won’t do. So keep reading the website.

No, we’ll need a different path to happiness. Not that happiness will  completely insulate you from pain or sadness. Rather, I’m defining happiness as “a long-term sense of emotional well-being and  contentment — a broad ‘feeling’ that one is happy.” It is an overall feeling  about life, not a guarantee that every moment will be Hallmark-worthy.

Two approaches to the eternal question of happiness seem prevalent today. One  is positive psychology. I’ll call the other the “set point” theory.

Positive psychology is Oprah. The premise is that we can make ourselves  happier by doing certain things and cultivating certain attitudes. For instance,  this theory holds that appreciating our strengths and accepting our limitations  will help make us happier.

Positive psychology expert Tal  Ben-Shahar says that academic studies have found that resilience is one key  to happiness (and, perhaps not coincidentally, success). Resilience has five  components:

1. setting future goals 2. maintaining an  optimistic outlook 3. identifying role models 4. focusing on your  strengths 5. staying physically active

Other believers in positive psychology focus on reciting affirmations, as Al  Franken’s character Stuart  Smalley used to do on “Saturday Night Live” (“I’m good enough, I’m smart  enough, and doggone it, people like me”).

While positive psychology promises that we can make ourselves happy, a  competing theory contends that each of us is programmed with a default happiness  level that we always revert back to. Psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky  explains, “[w]e’re born with a genetically determined  happiness ‘set point,’ meaning that even though our happiness will seesaw  following pleasing or traumatic life events, it will inevitably shift back to a  natural level.”

Some studies suggest that genetics account for more than 50 percent of our  happiness levels. Psychologist Dr. Edward Diener “cites data showing that lottery winners are  no happier a year after their good fortune than they were before. And several  studies show that even people with spinal-cord injuries tend to rebound in  spirits.”

Even the things that most of us accept as keys to happiness don’t have much  effect on set points: “Studies of happiness in several  countries have found that money makes little difference to perceptions of  happiness, except among the very poor. Nor do education, marriage and a family….  Each factor may make a person a little happier, but it has a minor impact,  compared with the individual’s” genetic set point.

The two theories, positive psychology and genetic set point, aren’t mutually  exclusive. Tal Ben-Shahar believes that all his teaching about choices can  account for only about 40 percent of a person’s mood. Another 10 percent is  environment, and, as Professor Lyubomirsky agrees, 50 percent is  genetic.

Since there is no changing your genetics, you might as well focus on positive  psychology. One of the exercises positive psychologists recommend is keeping a  gratitude journal in which, every night, you record five things you are grateful  for. Thanksgiving is the perfect time to start.

Piper Hoffman | Care2

It is not the length of your experience that qualifies you – it’s the depth of it!

True success is not defined by external factors – it is defined from within. One major life lesson I have learned is that no one can define success for me. I must do it myself.

Regardless of what society, the media, family, friends, co-workers, or colleagues say, I am the one who has the final word. When I learned to own my identity and control my words, thoughts, actions, behaviors, attitude, and beliefs, I experienced a major life shift that was more powerful than anything I could ever imagine.

For many years, I was defined by others and validated by things. But when I released the hold external “things” had on my life, I learned why I am here. I was not born by accident. There is an assignment that belongs to me and only I can carry it out.

We are all born with assignments, and when we discover what it is, our entire life will shift, change, and re-arrange. Our mindset will no longer focus on superficial tangible things. Our attitude, outlook, perspective, and energy level will shift. We no longer have the victim mentality. We suddenly realize why all the painful life experiences happened in their sequential order. The puzzle pieces will begin to align and the image and vision for your life will become clear.

As you begin to see the vision, you will embrace it, embody it, and become it. As you become one with the vision, your wisdom will begin to align with your beliefs, thoughts, and actions. Then you will begin to go about your business of carrying out your own unique life assignment.

Living your purpose is the most powerful and successful accomplishment you could ever have. It gives your life meaning, fulfillment, joy, peace, and happiness that you cannot get from any external source. You shift from being self-conscious to self-confident. The light that shines within you will align with the universe, and everything you need will be supplied.

As obstacles enter your life, you will connect to your inner voice and receive the answers. You will never be alone. This is when you begin to know that success happens IN you before it happens TO you.

Once you’ve made this life-changing discovery, you can now help others along the critical life journey of self-discovery. This is a journey we must all travel alone. There will be mentors, coaches, visionaries, and luminaries along the way to inspire, motivate, and elevate. But the journey belongs to you.

As we continue on our journey, there will be naysayers, obstacles, and even failures. But failure isn’t final – it is feedback. You will strive to be better each day along your journey. Don’t allow fear to control you, because F.E.A.R is simply Failure Expected and Received.

Cathy Hill | Inspire Me Today

Impossible is just an opinion

If you have ever hit a wall of failure at top speed, you know the paralyzing feeling that takes place inside your body.

That paralyzing feeling stops you in your tracks, turns a great thing into your worst nightmare. If you have ever poured your heart and soul into something and somehow, someway, it failed, you know what it feels like.

This feeling of defeat can lead you down two roads. One is the road to nowhere, this road is the road that keeps you from getting out of bed in the morning, changes your beliefs about yourself, changes the beliefs you have about others, and sends you into a spiral of depression.

The second road is the road that leads you from a feeling of defeat to a feeling of triumph. This is the road less traveled, the road to understanding that you and you alone can overcome any failure. If you choose to!

This road is the hardest road to walk. It means being triumphant over your thoughts of total defeat. It means changing those crippling thoughts that always seem to pop into your head when you lie in bed at night, drive to work or have a quiet moment alone.

To overcome these feelings, we need to dig deeper than we have ever dug into our hearts and soul. We have to understand and believe that this defeat was for a reason, but what reason? Did you learn something in your journey? Did you meet interesting people? Did you become a stronger person? Or did you force feed yourself the needed knowledge on how to do it a different way?

Try to stay focused on what you learned in the process. If the journey to reaching a goal is the big prize, the greatest feeling, then the journey to failure should be looked at the same way, no? Any defeat you meet is simply temporary if you keep striving toward your success – whatever your definition of success is.

You’ve heard this before, I’m sure. Everyone has heard it from the likes of Edison, Earl Nightingale, and Steve Jobs, but knowing that successful people say it doesn’t stop that crippling feeling from hitting you like a train, does it? You think, “Well it’s easy for them to say.” Just remember, it is easy for them to say, but it was just as difficult for them to overcome the feelings as it will be for you.

It is not an easy thing to do but you NEED to do it or else you risk the chance that these feelings of failure will destroy your vision, purpose, and goals. Whatever it is that you are fighting for, the people you are trying to help need you to succeed so you can help them.

Believe in yourself, your dream, your vision, and most of all seize the WOO, that window of opportunity that only temporary defeat can bring. It’s called growth!

Dan Deigan | Inspire Me Today